FIA gets tough on confusing acronyms in Oz

The FIA issued a statement on Friday morning at the start of the first Grand Prix weekend of the new season in Melbourne, confirming their position on the newly introduced and hotly debated Adjustable Rear Wing (ARW) ruling.

The Rear Flap Adjuster (RFA) has been specifically developed to increase the opportunity for cars to "swap places" in 2011, although definitive information as to how this system will be referred to by the media has not been known until now.

With the Australian Grand Prix now upon us however, the FIA (Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile)  have been under pressure to specify unequivocally what everyone is meant to call this new Drag Reduction System (DRS).

Ferrari's "Flappa dat opena very fast for sure!"

In an effort to clarify the situation, the FIA have announced definitively that exact rules concerning the terminology used to describe the Movable Rear Wing (MRW) will be clarified before the beginning of the race.

"Obviously we hope that we can all agree on a suitable moniker for the Modifiable Flange Pivoter (MFP) before the 5 Visual Race Commencement Indicators (Lights) go out in Melbourne on Sunday, but it is possible that we will just wait and see how people refer to the Flexible Flap Fluxer (FFF) during the race and then pick the best one", said a spokesperson.

This Temporarily Allowable Deployable Ambulatory Strut Device (TADASD) can be activated only on an agreed area of the track to allow a faster car to exchange positions with a slower one - using a concept known in the olden days of F1 racing as "overtaking".

"When the Pace Encumbrance Unlimiter (PEU) was first developed we all called it the Flappy Rear Wing Thing (FRWT) said Mclaren's Technical Director Paddy Lowe (MTDPW) , but then people started making up all of these different names for it to make themselves sound more important.

BRAKES

Rumour has it that the definitive name for the Rear Mounted Malleable Impermanent Forward Velocity Optimiser (RMMIFVO) will be determined by whatever Eddie Jordan calls it during the BBC coverage of the event this week-end.

This suggestion has already raised fears that the device will end up being referred to as something that doesn't make any sense to anyone, a bit like the Kinetic Energy Recovery System (KERS) or the good old fashioned Basic Rapidity and Kinetic Energy Suppressors (BRAKES).